Morning Reflections

My morning walk with the dogs to the mailbox is when I do my best reflecting.  The day is new and the sky is usually beautiful.  Thoughts race in and out of my mind faster than I could ever record them and as I so often do, I write an entry in my Occasional Widow’s Blog.  Words and thoughts flow freely, beautifully expressed, inspired, introspective and profound.  

This morning as with so many other mornings, my thoughts turned to my home and the life we built here.  I am filled with gratitude and sorrow.  I remember the first time we saw the property.  The planning.  The clearing of the property each weekend.  Tree cutting, massive bonfires 2, 3 at a time.  The ankle twisting on the glacial deposit rocks.  The house plan.  The decisions, endless decisions.  How did we do this with a toddler?  The construction.  The endless finishing, tweaking, maintenance.  The joys.  The sorrows.  The dreams.  The kids playing.  The dogs playing.  The chickens.  Life.  The struggle.  The joy.  I see and process this all in the wink of an eye.  Like the proverbial seeing your life flash before your eyes.  Full.  Happy.  Sad.  Love.  Joy.  Life.  Death.  How?  Why?  What next?  Beauty.  Gratitude.  Hard work.  Good Fortune.

I don’t feel like it.  I must feel like it.  Maybe must is not the right work, have to go on, perhaps??  Alone, but not alone.  Scared.  Tired.  I don’t want to leave this place we created.  But, I probably need to for so many reasons.  The work that went into this creation of life and home.  And I have to remember to fix that fence. 

Damn it.  You kept me steady.  Made me think un-selfishly.  Changed me.  Thank you.  Can you hear me?  See the struggle?  I appreciate all you did for me and us.  Who you were.  I got you and you were miles deep.   

While I’m the glass half full gal, I believe that the adventure that awaits me is probably going to be grand.  But I wanted that adventure to begin with him.  And I’m here without him, missing him, seeing him in all that’s around me.  In my children.  In my home.  In my soul.  I am a dichotomy of feelings about moving on.  It could be good.  But…     I must continue to be brave and fight.

Each morning, much the same conversation – with myriad other task reminders that insert themselves into the stream of consciousness.  I am probably depressed if I let myself think about it for too long.  It’s still a lot.  I’m still not ready to go.  I want to linger.  

That’s how I am right now.  Trying to be gentle.  Eating cheese and crackers.  Better than drinking.   

January 23, 2019.

July 2018

I’ve written scores of entries in my “Widow’s Blog.” They are all written as I walk, or weed, clean the house, or shower. They never make it to the screen or paper, but they are written nonetheless, and have helped me through these last 9 months. The dogs and I just crossed off yet another “first without him,” walking the Cook’s trail here at camp. The trail is nothing spectacular - it’s a simple walk in the woods with which we start our day. And yet it has been a place where I have done tremendous thinking. A place to walk away heartache, worry, to process emotions, and to make plans and dreams. Surprisingly, I made this ‘first’ trek without tears, having shed copious tears yesterday, in shared grief for a dear family that has suffered unspeakable loss in the past month. I’m reminded once again, that everything can always be worse. That there is still so much good. That my friends and family, neighbors and co-workers, continue to take such good care of me, and my children and dogs.
The day dawned today, as beautiful as it did 9 months ago. We are ok. We will be ok. I am grateful for the beauty of the day, for the love of friends and family, and for the life I shared with Kev. I want to say that all is well with my soul, but I am still in repair. Perhaps my soul is just tired and in need of some peace. I am in the right place for that. As close as I can be to heaven.

Jan 2018 - A First Post

I don’t generally say much on FB or for the New Year for that matter, but please humor me today. It was a tremendous year for me. I lost my dad in February and my darling husband in October in a tragic accident. I admit to feeling sorry for myself at times in the last couple of months, but honestly I am also truly grateful for this roller coaster ride of life. Our dear family and friends, our communities in NJ and in ME, my work family - have all shown me their very best. They held me up when I believed it was impossible to move beyond the next minute - completely groundless, but certainly not weightless. We’ve seen countless acts of kindness and compassion, for which I can never express the depth of my gratitude. It’s been a blur and also painfully detailed. In one second my world changed forever and my future took on a whole new shape. Although I believed that I’ve never been one to take things for granted and tried hard each day to live with good intention, I know that I now have a new expectation for that standard. That is one of the things I choose to walk into this new year with. Life is indeed ephemeral. I don’t have time for the trivial and I am not regretful, am ever grateful for the love I have known, the forgiveness and understanding I have received, the light and joy of simple pleasures, the sunrise and sunset each day, my incredible children, family, friends, dogs, and for having been shown how to give so freely from the heart, from my dearest love. Happy New Year, all. Make it count. Think hard about what matters most to you and live that way with all you’ve got. Be well and at peace.

  (originally on FB)

Supporting Educational Technology

As I continue to explore the ways in which technology might impact educational environments, one of the most important things I’ve learned is that I need to focus my skills on the possibilities that technology can afford.  What I mean is that it should be my job to understand and stay abreast of what’s current in technology and share that knowledge appropriately. 

The skill of a truly great educator never fails to fill me with awe.  I often feel flatfooted in searching for that perfect analogy or when asked for a definition for a word that I certainly know.  Realizing that I need to continue to build that skill, I’ve also come to terms with the fact that my greatest skill may lie in exposing others to opportunities and facilitating a solution. 

Great educators and even mediocre ones don’t need me to tell them what to do to present a lesson.  But where I might provide some help is in sharing the knowledge of technology and best practices that I have garnered in my research.  Providing a springboard and an open mind to help them brainstorm their ideas and eliminate some of their frustration might be all that’s needed.  A teacher’s time is better spent developing a lesson to meet the goals and objectives of the material to be covered, whereas mine could be better spent helping them see the possibilities of technology in a concrete way.  For example, to help alleviate anxiety about website development, blog posting, wikibooks, and freeware, I could provide simple workshops, short videos or demonstrations.  Initially, a great deal of “hand holding” might even be needed.  But once converted, those that adopt technology will quickly become the “hand-holders” to others. 

I believe that I need to continually grow and learn because once I stop, I will start to die.  In this vein, I also believe that in order to play a supporting role properly, I need to constantly seek fresh ideas and information and try new things.  By doing this, I can have a greater impact on how things get done and slowly facilitate the broader movement to infuse technology in a way that reflects what is happening worldwide.   

The Opportunity of Collective Intelligence and Free Software

I am fascinated by the emergence of collective intelligence worldwide.  The concept has great potential for school and work settings.  According to Moore’s Law, computing capacity doubles approximately every two years.  Technology is becoming more affordable to more people, and with it comes the ability to collaborate on problems and create new systems.  This is very exciting for education because of the potential to bring learners from all over the world together.  It also enables learners to focus on topics of interest to them and to meet other like minded individuals.  While this would benefit all learners, it is an awesome advantage for students in remote locations.  I hope that the potential benefits of this collaborative approach helps to liberate internet usage in schools. 

One of my favorite free software packages has been Phun.  This “fun” software makes it easy to see quickly the effects of gravity in a particular situation.  You can still get a free beta version of this software at:  http://www.algodoo.com/wiki/Download.  I also love Jing, and use it frequently to quickly demonstrate something to peers.   This free software allows you to capture something on your computer monitor and share it easily with others.  Jing has saved me a lot of time over the last year, because I only have to explain something once, and then share it with many.  http://www.techsmith.com/Jing

Same old, same old vs. High Tech High

Our explorations this week unfortunately brought me surprisingly few insights with one notable exception – High Tech High, which I will discuss last.  Perhaps I have become jaded by too many corporate sponsored workshops to find Fullan’s change model particularly inspiring.  What I found most useful in his model, was his discussion of developing leaders internally.  So often this seems to be overlooked in the authoritarian school environment.  Without this critical aspect, many change efforts fail.

Findings in two studies conducted by Mathmatica Policy Research about the efficacy of reading and math software products were also not surprising to me.  The study focused on test scores, classroom activities and the roles of teachers and students. Not specifically studied was how the software targeted the desired skills.  In my opinion, if the software utilized did nothing differently from how content was previously taught directly by the teacher, very little difference in test scores should have been anticipated.  Technology for technology’s sake doesn’t make a difference.  If I can turn a screw with a coin from my pocket or a screwdriver, why would I use the screwdriver?  Value needs to be added and that doesn’t necessarily happen with a fancy new way to do the same old thing.

This is not the case at High Tech High School.   I thoroughly enjoy investigating the videos produced by students.  It is clear from the work present on the school website, that exciting things are happening there.  Even the atmosphere in the school mirrors a high tech firm rather than a traditional high school.  My exploration of the students’ video work clearly showed that a lot of learning through investigation is being done.  I watched videos on topics of homelessness, the importance of bees, a theater project where students froze for 3 minutes on the school grounds, amoebas and a variety of other topics.  Obviously, the students in this school are plugged in to what they are learning.  Whenever that happens, learning is sure to happen and the nature of that is all about HOW it’s being accomplished and not simply using a fancy new screwdriver.   

Gamers Crack Aids Research Puzzle

After my post today, I came across this article.  Very timely!


http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/09/19/us-gamers-crack-puzzle-in-aids-research-that-stumped-scientists-for-years/

State of the Future and Educational Reform

I must admit to becoming a little frightened as I read through portions of the 2011 State of the Future (Glenn, Gordon, & Florescu, 2011) and the Global Competitiveness Report 2011-2012 (Schwab, 2011).  The rate at which technology is being adopted seems to be accelerating exponentially, bringing with it changes in how we relate to one another on multiple levels.  As the world becomes more connected and communication barriers are broken down, new challenges are being presented.  Privacy, the threat of cyber crime, disinformation and governments struggling with how to control harmful content on the internet, are a few of the issues raised in the 2011 State of the Future report (p. 22). 

How will we prepare our children to live in this world – even as we ourselves face this uncertainty?  One thing seems apparent to me –our educational system must inherently utilize this technology, as this is the reality of the world in which our children live.  They will be working in the computational arena which is at the forefront of change in science, medicine and engineering.  They will be connected virtually worldwide to share knowledge and solve problems.  The emergence of collective intelligence requires that we must ask our educational system to think differently that we might prepare our children to work in this evolving world and act responsibly within it.  Change seems to be occurring faster than at any rate previously known to mankind and our children will need the skills and ability to be able to transform along with it. 

The focus must shift away from the old model of education that centered on skills for manufacturing and managing in a world that is rapidly changing to a model that encourages thinking “outside the box” and utilizes the availability of information on demand.  Critical thinking and decision making, sifting through data and understanding bias, are essential skills for navigating in this new world.  It is essential that as we prepare them, they work and learn with the technology that is enabling this shift, or they will be unprepared to work in a world reliant on this technology. 

Glenn, Jerome C., Gordon, Theodore J., & Florescu, Elizabeth. (2011). 2011 State of the Future. Washington, DC: The Millenium Project.

Schwab, K. (Ed.) (2011). The Global Competitiveness Report 2011-2012. Geneva: World Economic Forum.

Technology Like Paper

Seymour Papert’s Keynote address in Australia revealed an interesting thought, “Why don’t we stop having conferences on Computers in Education?” (2004).  He asserted that this type of thinking has effectively placed technology in a subordinate position in the topic of education.  He went on to state that revolutionary change has been hindered by making technology “special,” effectively taking it out of the conversation in the mainstream of education.  After all, there are no discussions on the impact of paper in education.  This concept intrigued me and I like the rationale behind his bold statements.  Like all visionaries, Papert is far ahead of the mainstream in his thinking.  Just like paper, technology in all its forms is simply another tool to be used in the educational process.  We would do well to remember that the teacher will always remain the paramount tool in any educational setting. 

As I reviewed the U.S. National Technology plans from both 2004 and 2010, I was also struck by this same thought.  While aspects of both plans certainly focused on needed changes, particularly in the area of infrastructure and professional development, the overall picture painted might have missed the point.  My suspicion is that Papert would think so as well.  Maybe it’s time to start acting as if technology is a given in the educational arena.  After all, the business world has long embraced it in that fashion.  Isn’t this the same world in which we hope to prepare our students to work? 

The time has come to embrace this fact and view technology like paper -- as an essential component in the educational process.  Wenglinsky conducted the last large scale study on the impact of technology in education over ten years ago (1998).  I’m doubtful that there has ever been a study on the impact of paper in education, because its use is considered essential.  That is not to say that technology shouldn’t be evaluated at all.  Teachers are evaluated on a variety of levels, as well.  The point is that lesson design and methodology is of the utmost importance when planning a lesson.  The inherent tools of the lesson should never be the primary focus.

Papert, S. (2004) Keynote address at the i3 1 to 1 Notebook Conference. Sydney, Australia. May 31 – June 2004. Retrieved September 8, 2011.

Wenglinsky, H. (1998). Does It Compute? The Relationship Between Educational Technology and Student Achievement in Mathematics. ETS, Research Division. Princeton: ETS .